Have you ever noticed how much more trouble people can get themselves in when they don't ask for help? Sometimes you don't need anyone's help and you are perfectly capable doing it by yourself, which in that case thats awesome, good for you!! In other cases, sometimes when we really do need help, we are to stubborn to admit or to blinded by pride to see that help is right in front of us all we really have to do is ask. I have been such an independent person my whole life, and I always needed to prove to others and myself that I could do it by myself without anyone helping me. All I really did in the long-run was prove how stubborn and prideful I was, and how it got the best of me. I dug myself a bigger hole by not asking for help, by shutting the open doors myself then peeking my head through and asking for directions. At one point, I gave up in myself because of all the bad decisions I made, but still was not going to let anyone help me at all. So I stayed angry, angry at myself for not being able to do it, and for becoming the person everyone thought I was. So instead of letting anyone help, I just stayed in a dark gloomy abyss. It was lonely, I knew a big part of my wanted to see the sun again, I wanted to feel the warmth of smiling and being happy. But because of my selfish decisions, I also pushed away the ones that loved and care about me most. I never ever realized that while hurting myself. I was hurting those around me. I may not have cared at all, but a group of others did, and it wasn't that I let them down, or disappointed them, it was that I let myself down. I didn't hold my own worth, although deep down I knew how valuable I am, and knew the potential I have I never thought to do something with it because I had a belief that all the decisions I make are bad, and I was going to be stuck FOREVER. But thanks to one of my amazing aunts, and a larger family of Avatar, I found "little Mellissa" again, I found the happy me. I can now feel the warmth of a smile, and I decided I will never ever let it go again. So no matter what problems or sticky situations I might face in the mean time, I will feel my emotions instead of over-think them, and I will label everything just as it is, and decide to move forward. Life is not about finding yourself, how ever many times you may loose yourself, its about creating yourself! You can fall, slip up, make bad decisions but as long as you learn the bigger lesson at the end of the day your just creating yourself. No one is perfect, and we don't have all the answers, if you want to know something that someone else already does ASK!!!! If you not sure how to do something.. ASK!!!! If you think you could it, but still would probably come out a little better with some help.. ASK!!! This ongoing joke that men don't know how to ask for directions its applies to everyone!!!! IF YOU GET LOST IN LIFE..STOP.. AND ASK FOR DIRECTIONS. Sometimes others may not always know, sometimes you will find your own way out, but sometimes you could avoid the crazy village by taking another route. I promise no one will judge you for it, in-fact what I've learned is people actually commend you for noticing that you need help. And instead of trying to do it on your own, and risking getting pretty badly bruised up, you asked for help, so you can do it the right way. Asking for help is not what everyone makes it out to be. Let your guards down because right now all its doing is holding you back from a life you could really enjoy, minus the headaches.
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer
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