My defining Days, that I won't let go

It is very hard for us to point out our own struggles, when you are so busy trying to be the perfect version of you.  Most the time when we are pointing out the wrongs in someone else, we are pointing out what stands out most in ourselves. I feel compelled to help everyone and anyone I can, and for a long time I was doing it because I was secretly crying out for help myself. It didn't just all come at once, it came in little dosages. But I didn't care at that point! I started to let go of responsibilities that I worked so hard to keep. Everything that was once important, everything that I had fought so hard for, didn't matter anymore. No matter how hard I worked at myself, it just was not enough, so I tried to be someone else's idea of perfect and when that didn't work I was lost. I wasn't okay, I felt that I had lost myself at such a young age that I would never over come it. I was in such a dark place I couldn't even see myself. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing to myself and those around me. And the more and more I would try and cover up my need for help, the more it got stronger. Before I knew it I had covered myself in depressing and draining emotions. I couldn't see any light, I couldn't understand how it got that bad, and I never thought I was going to be able to over come any of it let alone all of it. I woke up one day, and literally said enough is enough! There was nothing that I hadn't felt at that point. I could tell people felt an unease around me. I could tell I was the dark cloud no one wanted to be around, the dark cloud I ran away from as a little ambitious girl. I was frustrated I didn't know how to get out, or even which step to take first. This feeling lasted for months before I felt a tap on my shoulder. I finally got the answer that I had been searching for all those years. Avatar really in a very in-abrasive fashion stripped me of years of self medicating abuse. I was able to finally look in the mirror and recognize the person looking back at me. I could comfortable name what I didn't like about myself, and decide to discreate them. I found a healthy way to point out my own struggles and turn them into a new battle, a new accomplishment. Instead of putting myself down and letting it break me, I simply decided that it was going to make me shine. I could re-create anything everything I possibly wanted. I found self happiness in my own smile. I will never let go of this new empowering embrace of emotion, I refuse to sell myself short, and I refuse to settle for anything less then amazing because I AM WORTH IT AND I DO DESERVE IT!
"Every Moment you are HAPPY is a GIFT to the rest of the WORLD" Harry Palmer