For such a long time, I have been very, independent. I needed to do it on my own, almost so I could prove myself to others. Most of the time I still like to do things myself, I am a laid back but for the most part private person. However, my best friend is a huge part of my support system! We are together probably 90% of the time, if we aren't either I'm out of town or she is. So whatever I go through she goes through and vice versa. We have been through a lot of the same things, even though we come from very different up bringing, we share the same values, same interests, share the same thoughts and most of the time have the same feelings, we've never fought and most of the time finish each others sentence..what can I say we're best friends! When I was going through the rough times in my life Jess was always there, the first one there and she never left. She opened up her heart and her family to let me in. Family growing up has been such a huge part of my life so when mine fell apart I felt as though I lost a big part of me, and even though I am making progress and great strides with mine, and I super close to Jess and her family. And I could never be able to thank them enough for all the times they take me in (yes present tense because they still do) For all the times, they have treated me like one of their own, I am truly blessed and so thankful words would never be able to express. Unfortunately we also went through some pretty dark times together, so if I was unapproachable, or came off as a tough girl, you could only imagine what it was like with us together. Attitude is strong enough, I even had back up on that. We are best described as Fabolous' song "Make Me Better" the lyrics say " I'm a movement by myself, but a Force when we're together". It was our defense mechanism, no body and I mean no body wanted to mess with us. Which we didn't mind so much, but being unapproachable can get lonely and both of felt it. When I started planning Avatar I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into and Jess kinda looked at me like your not serious right? But against both our better judgements I went, and came back a completely different person. In Avatar, I was worried how my friends and family would take to the new me, and didn't want it to affect my new belief system. Well they tell you that once you shift, everything and everyone in your life will shift around you, and at first I was like "Oh! you don't know my friends and family!" But boy was I wrong yet again! Once I came home it was almost like a wildfire affect, they saw the change in me automatically and it's started to take hold on those closest to me. Jess in fact just told me that, seeing me this happy has pushed her to let go of a lot of bullshit she has held onto for years, and if I can finally let go of my past so can she. Once I came home I made the decision to clean up my life in more then one aspect, and I wanted to start by working out and eating right, respecting my mind, body and soul. Jess is my partner in crime, we use to be out to the wee hours of the night sometimes morning, and would eat everything your not suppose to. ( COMFORT FOOD ) my addiction is fried foods, and hers is sugar, together its one deadly combination. I was scared to tell her no, I didn't want her to feel as though I was judging her, but yet again I was wrong. I came home to find out that Jess had started Jenny Craig, and working out with her older brother Jason doing Cross-Fit work out. So I did a little happy dance, and joined right in, I'm not doing Jenny Craig, but I have studied better diets, and we cross-fit 2-3 a week, and i've been sneaking in some cardio-workouts in between days. I feel great, and we have pushed each other so much in the past few weeks. People have noticed the change in both of us and its a beautiful thing. We are happy, in the process of getting healthy, and pushing ourselves beyond our own personal impossibilities. I am so thankful I have the support I do from my family, and I have such a kick-ass best friend. Now don't get me wrong you can make the decision and do anything you set your mind to, but it is much more easier when you have a partner in crime. So if you choose, to change your lifestyle, make sure you also decide to surround yourself with supportive friends or family. It's very important ingredient, for the "new you recipe". It's not easy to cut those off that you never realized weren't such a fantastic support before, but when you make the decision to love yourself, and put yourself first, you must become selfish. Selfish for all the right reasons is the best thing you could ever do. Remember you need to be happy before you let anyone share in your happiness, you need to love yourself before you let anyone else love you. Happy is the best place on earth and I never want to leave!
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer
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