I have started a new lifestyle for myself, and at first it was hell, but then it felt great. I was eating the same meals everyday because I knew that they were healthy and they fit my diet. However, not changing it up made it really hard to keep pushing myself. I found myself missing sweets, and junk food, I missed it so much I would temp myself to be around it, and once I was I got a high off saying "No thank you". Well I should of known that test was all going to come to an end one of these days. One of these days I wouldn't be as self-motivated as days prior. When the day came, I was weak and let my mind control almost everything from my thoughts right down to my actions. I broke, and the worst part of breaking is I didn't feel bad, I felt stupid. I felt as though I had taunted myself for so long that what do you expect it's only natural to give in... right? WRONG!!!! so very very very wrong, I start to see results about a week ago, I started to feel amazing and I just let go to amount of strength I was holding onto. I will get a little down from time to time but then my mind goes, " well you knew this is how you were going to feel and you did it anyway, you knew how awesome it felt to say no, and how much a self-difference this transition has made", so why get mad, why get disappointed, I know that even when I think I'm pushing instead of going "hey, relax your trying!" I need to turn it up to "Don't give up now push through keep pushing way past what you feel is humanly possible". We often justify things in our head because we think that notion of justification will comfort us in our decision whether it's good or bad. When deep down we already know, if you second guess it normally move onto another option. Why choose the window, when you can take the door? Happiness is self-made, look at it as you wish but when it comes down to it, it's up to us. We rely on our friends/family to cheer us up, or a significant other to really make us happy, when in all reality why can't you make yourself happy? Why is it a disbelief you can be happy by yourself? Sure it's nice to have company, and someone to laugh with that I won't deny, but you can't be happy with someone else until your really happy with yourself. Push yourself to work through all the BS and find what makes you happy?? I'm not talking about cake or nice big plate of pasta. I'm talking about what do you like to do that makes you smile, without even notice that your doing it. When I work out and really push myself this amazing power comes over my face because I know I'm bettering myself and changing what makes me feel not so great. When I get lazy, I feel worse now, being lazy makes me depressed, funny how ironic life can be. So when you think that your about to give up, or give in, think about what really really makes you smile from inside out, and push yourself that much harder.
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer
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