Take some time to Celebrate being and loving you!

Sometimes in life we forget about the most important person, OURSELF! When we get overworked, overwhelmed or just had a rough day; we forget to give back to ourselves. When we take things personal, it can cause a breakdown into a personal area that has nothing to do with the matter at hand. When we have a bad day, or we take on more then we can handle, again leading to an emotional/mental personal breakdown. We often forget that no matter what has happened we made it through, and we owe ourself that much to love on ourself for not giving up, and pushing through. Being selfish is often frowned upon when I believe its perfectly healthy if you do it in a humble self-loving manner. When we are selfish for all the right reasons, it means you are completely self aware and love who you are including all your flaws. And when we do love ourselves, it shows and people around you can tell. It also allows you to let others in, and love you just as much. We often fear what we don't know, and most the time its with other people, however I bet there's a lot you don't know about yourself. Sometimes we do things that we don't really like but we do them to fit in, or feel admired, even though deep down all it makes you feel is meeeehh. Anytime your in doubt, angry, sad, or feeling lost take some time to celebrate you, love you, focus on what makes you smile just by thinking about it. Love yourself, and watch how different your view of life will change. Celebrate you and all you've done, all you want to do, and all you have to offer, because you are more then worth it, and definitely deserve it! You will become confident, not cocky, but confident in every aspect of your life. You will find the will, the inner power, and higher energy to do anything and everything you could ever want. Because you simply decided to love yourself. And just remember at the end of the day, the only person your going to have is you, so love you. If you are sitting here reading this saying, but I don't like this, or that, then its okay I have the ultimate solution.. ready... decide to change it, put action in your feelings and do something about it. You would never believe how awesome you feel once you start to see results, and you will see them almost immediately! Poke your head in the bathroom take a look in the mirror and say I love you because.... and you'll probably feel silly but it doesn't matter. Instead of pointing out what you don't like make a list of things you do like. Take a walk and think of all your accomplishments, big or small doesn't matter just acknowledge and admire yourself for it. It will be like putting on a completely different set of lenses, and seeing crystal clear, way more then you ever thought possible. Self-love is important it will allow you to find your happy place, you'll feel like your on top of the world, with the most amazing view!

"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

This post is dedicated to a very special person in my life whom has always supported everything that i've ever wanted to do. She is the most amazing beautiful strong women I have ever known. She has and continues to teach me how amazing life is, and to do whatever your heart desires no matter how crazy it might seem to someone else, follow your dreams into reality. Work hard and exhaust all your options, and don't let "No" be one of them. But to also keep in mind that we don't live to work, we work to live, and we should enjoy life and all it has to offer. The biggest part is to love yourself, allow yourself to be great especially in your own eyes!
Love You!

Fully believing anything is possible!

When we were kids, we thought the most outrageous crazy imaginations and believed anything even when we couldn't see it. I haven't bogged for almost a week, and I do apologize but I needed to break down and re-ground myself. I found that I was holding back from the bigger picture, I was letting myself settle. I was okay with the minimum and no matter what that just wasn't okay. My whole life I have sat around and did whatever I needed to just to get by, and was completely content with it because I knew that way I wouldn't be shut down if my best wasn't good enough. But the truth is my best has taught me more then just being the best. It taught me that its not about actually getting what I want, it's about giving it my all and completely going for it. To know that I exhausted all my options and gave it everything I possibly could, because everything happens for a reason and when you give all that you possibly can to better yourself, the rewards are greater then you would ever expect. Whether or not what I want to happens, happens I know that I have done all I possibly can and that speaks more about who I am then what or where I am. You need to fully believe anything is possible, truly believe it not just say it. Your wildest dreams couldn't be better then what you would experience. Love yourself, allow yourself to be great, celebrate all your accomplishments, even the minute ones! Believe more then just the possible, and watch what happens. We limit ourselves with numbers, and distance, and so many different ridiculous obstacles, but in reality we are the only obstacle. Anything is Possible, we just have to believe that. We can choose and decide to create any place we want to, including non obstacles. Without knowing, we choose what we believe, so why is it so hard to believe that anything is possible?? What would you attempt to do if you know failing wasn't an option?
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world." Harry Palmer

Communication is Key

Some people don't realize home important communication is, well for those of you who don't let me break it down for you. Communication is one of the bodies most vital signs, think about it people use all day everyday. We forget how important it is because we do it all the time. Sometimes we forget the most important parts about communication: ITS NOT WHAT YOU SAY BUT HOW YOU SAY IT. Most of American doesn't understand this concept. I didn't either for a while, I was very defensive and thought that if people knew I was serious then the message would be clear. Instead I wasn't someone anyone wanted to deal with, I was someone people walked on eggshells around. When you deliver a message whether it's a good or bad message you should be completely 100% clear on what it is that your trying to get across. You can say one thing, but without a clear delivery it will get transmitted as something else. A lot of times, without even knowing your doing so, I am completely guilty of this, we give off a certain attitude. It is very easy to take on someone else energy, and without realizing yet again pass that on. Now you have completely missed the message, and you picked up someone else's bad day, and before you know it your giving it to someone else. It is an endless cycle for the rest of the day, you take something personal when it has nothing to do with you. Perfect example is when you go out to eat, or the DMV and you deal with not such a pleasant person. You feel their attitude right away, and can't understand what their problem is. Immediately you take it personal, instead of thinking" wow, this persons having a really bad day I hope okay" and realize that yo everythings ur probably not the first one they've treated like this today nor will you be the last. Yes, it's true one person can change another ones day all it takes is a smile, and some kindness! Have you ever heard the expression kill them with kindness, even though it may not work with bullies all the time, when you feel like someone is being rude or mean, kill them with kindness you have nothing to loose. Another example is when your trying to explain to someone how you feel, whether is a relative, friend, significant other, I am the type of person I wear my emotions on my face. I do it and have no idea I'm doing it so it's very hard for me to fool someone how I feel. But !!! It's not always a bad thing, because its a part of feeling your emotion, it's a body reaction, just like laughing!  More people appreciate the truth, whether it sucks or not is not the importance. But most people are also afraid of the truth and how others will take it, when in all reality when you say it with sincerity, their initial reaction might not be so great, but in the long run they will appreciate the truth. Again its all in your delivery!!!! When you shift your own delivery you will be shocked to see the how your reaction shifts as well. Which goes with the saying "why burn bridges when you can keep building?" Just because the situation might suck don't kill the messenger. Take a look at the bigger picture and find the lesson within. And again it's easy to get distracted from the bigger picture when its all blurry. Say what you mean and mean what you say, just make sure your delivery is not counter-acting what you are trying to get across. So just remember be aware of how you say it !
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

Why are we afraid of emotion?

I recently blogged about an experience I had an expressed a few different types of emotion, one of them being fear. I was fearful of depression, because of my past experiences, my belief is that depression is not just an emotion it was a state of mind, it was a dark black hole that I sat in for month at a time. So I need to be completely clear in saying I am no longer fearful of my emotions, I am fearful that I will be stuck in them. Which some of you might think well you will get over it eventually, just depends on the experience at hand. Of course, most of you would be somewhat right, on the other hand my belief has been re-wired recently so after this type-o was brought to my attention I had a good giggle. I choose my beliefs, I decide what to think about them, when I allowed myself to get over worked I also allowed my mind to take over my belief system, my emotions, and my actions. I gave in for a period of time, what felt comforting was not necessarily healthy, but I chose to believe that what was healthy was not necessarily comforting. I choose to let it simmer into a boil instead of cook it and be done with it (deal with it). I forgot how far I had come, I forgot to recognize my strides I had worked so hard for. I took the focus off myself, and put my energy into a completely unknown world, which took my mind away from my goals. Sometimes we need to explore other realms of life so we know where we need to go and where we want to go next. After I let myself go, I  had to work twice as hard to get myself back, but it just propelled me forward. I chose to create a lesson, instead of a loss. I chose to be afraid of what I didn't know, and I let it affect everything I did. Being afraid of emotion does absolutely nothing for you, it does not help clarify, it won't let you moved past, and it will not under any circumstances benefit you by running away. Have you ever heard the saying, "If you don't learn from your past it will repeat itself", for the longest time I had interpreted that as, don't do it, or anything like that. In 7th Grade my Social Studies Teacher use to say this all the time, especially when someone did something they weren't suppose to do. When at times, it worked for 7th graders, but thats not necessarily the real meaning. By saying don't let your past repeat itself, means that with all , good or bad, comes with a lesson; and if we don't get it, the lesson will repeat itself until we do. It doesn't mean that we will or will not go through the same experience, all it means is that if we don't learn the first time it will re-appear until we do. It took me awhile to learn the bigger picture, the biggest lesson. I never knew how to put myself first, I always went above and beyond to put others first, to make others happy, even if it wasn't healthy for me (emotionally, mentally, physically, financially) I stayed and never left because I was use to being left. I never gave up on anyone, but always gave up on myself. I have always been afraid of my real emotions, and instead of dealing with it I covered it up with  a defensive anger protection shield. Point is, you can't be afraid to feel, we need to let ourselves feel what is going on when it's going on so we can deal with it and we are able to move on. Don't be afraid of emotion, it can only get worse in time without being dealt with. Feel your emotion, don't over-think it, or over-talk the situation, just clarify what it is and deal with it first hand.
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

Do your pros out weigh your cons?

For the past few days I had been dealing with a certain issue,  and was so lost in creation I had no idea where to begin! I had beaten myself up over the idea that I did something wrong, but had no idea what I did. Was it something I said? Was it something I did? If so how could I have done or said it differently? I was starting to take everything personal, and started to break down. Without noticing I had taken the focus off myself and put it on someone I had no answers too. So I had to ask myself, Did I find clarity in myself beat up? NOPE! Did I make myself feel better at all about the process? definitely not in fact just the opposite! Did I find the answer to my question? Did I even come close to the answer? NOT AT ALL!!! Did I gain anything from the beat up process? NOTHING but a headache and hours wasted! I resisted anything and everything I knew would help because it was more important to try and understand what happened, I still don't know what happened. But somethings we are not suppose to figure out, sometimes the lesson is bigger then what we think. You see I always knew that I loved loving someone, I am awesome at taking care of others, but the flip side of learning on how to take care of myself was this huge unsolved mystery. I had solely put the focus on myself for the past few weeks, I cut out everything that was bad for me including food, drugs, and even certain people. When I took the focus off myself, it wasn't short before I went back to bad food, drugs and bad people! And it took a few days of resisting to go wait I'm quickly falling back into the old depressing lifestyle but why? Why am I sacrificing my happiness for someone that clearly healthy? I have fought for so long to hold on to my happiness, so why was it so easy to give up? How was it so easy to give in? Because I wanted to be loved, that is something I'm still having a hard time on. It is hard for me to continue to love myself, without someone urging they do too. I still miss the feeling of being loved, an adored, but then again doesn't everyone? I let go way to easily, but I did learn a few things out of all this. I learned that it is possible, I learned more about what I want in a relationship, and I learned that even though I would like to be in a relationship with someone I shouldn't settle for just anyone, and that maybe I should get myself back to where I need to be before I can even entertain the idea of a relationship. I need to learn more about how to fully love myself before I can ask or want anyone else to. I let go of my happiness hoping that someone else would be able to do just that, NO ONE ELSE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS OTHER THEN YOURSELF! After weighing the pros and the cons, I didn't find any pros at all... NOT ONE, the beauty of all this is, since I was able to realize the truth I just chose to decide to re-create my happiness and make sure that I am primary at all times. Because I am worth it and I deserve it.
"Every moment I am happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

having not so great times ...

This weekend, I let go, and completely broke down. This whole transformation is a process, and you need to breakdown every now and again. I felt like I was trying to so hard to be perfect, when I knew deep down I was fighting so much more then just that. I was able to let go and get a hold on myself again. This time I'm not grasping for complete change, thats already happened I'm grasping for the strength to love myself more and more enough to keep a hold of my happiness. Now I know that when I do feel poopy and lost, I know that I need to not take it on all by myself. The biggest and hardest part is pointing out that, "o wait that bothers me", admitting is ten times harder then finding the solution. As soon as you can label what it is that bothers you then it's that much easier. I use to think that the solution would be the hard, but then again I never labeled it just how it was. When you label something just how it is, your looking at it for what lys in front of you nothing more nothing less. You don't look at it as " what could, should or would of been", you don't pay attention to the after thoughts, you realize that it just simply is. What whatever makes it, is that easy to break your emotional hold. I take things personal when it has nothing to do with me, I over think things to the extent that no one ever would, I prepare for the worst all the time. Yet, I still walk around with a smile on my face and I pretend as though I have never been happier, some days its true, I am happier then I have ever been however, some days I feel lost in creation. The thought that I could still loose myself and get lost in depression scares me more then anything I've ever been scare of. You finally get use to smiling because its a reaction, instead of smiling because others want you to. But just because I'm happy doesn't mean I'm not going to have a bad day every once and again! Bad days come and go, and you have the power to change them at any point. I need to be strict with myself, and I need to hold on to the feeling of winning! I'm still learning about my own bad days, I'm still over thinking things, I'm still allowing myself to get over worked-up, and chances are I am going to continue to have a few bad days, but I need to label it just it is... just a bad day and move on, not let it break me down or let me fall off my own self made trail. Because I'm worth it and I deserve it.
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

When you feel like giving up, push that much harder

I have started a new lifestyle for myself, and at first it was hell, but then it felt great. I was eating the same meals everyday because I knew that they were healthy and they fit my diet. However, not changing it up made it really hard to keep pushing myself. I found myself missing sweets, and junk food, I missed it so much I would temp myself to be around it, and once I was I got a high off saying "No thank you". Well I should of known that test was all going to come to an end one of these days. One of these days I wouldn't be as self-motivated as days prior. When the day came, I was weak and let my mind control almost everything from my thoughts right down to my actions. I broke, and the worst part of breaking is I didn't feel bad, I felt stupid. I felt as though I had taunted myself for so long that what do you expect it's only natural to give in... right? WRONG!!!! so very very very wrong, I start to see results about a week ago, I started to feel amazing and I just let go to amount of strength I was holding onto. I will get a little down from time to time but then my mind goes, " well you knew this is how you were going to feel and you did it anyway, you knew how awesome it felt to say no, and how much a self-difference this transition has made", so why get mad, why get disappointed, I know that even when I think I'm pushing instead of going "hey, relax your trying!" I need to turn it up to "Don't give up now push through keep pushing way past what you feel is humanly possible". We often justify things in our head because we think that notion of justification will comfort us in our decision whether it's good or bad. When deep down we already know, if you second guess it normally move onto another option. Why choose the window, when you can take the door? Happiness is self-made, look at it as you wish but when it comes down to it, it's up to us. We rely on our friends/family to cheer us up, or a significant other to really make us happy, when in all reality why can't you make yourself happy? Why is it a disbelief you can be happy by yourself? Sure it's nice to have company, and someone to laugh with that I won't deny, but you can't be happy with someone else until your really happy with yourself. Push yourself to work through all the BS and find what makes you happy?? I'm not talking about cake or nice big plate of pasta. I'm talking about what do you like to do that makes you smile, without even notice that your doing it. When I work out and really push myself this amazing power comes over my face because I know I'm bettering myself and changing what makes me feel not so great. When I get lazy, I feel worse now, being lazy makes me depressed, funny how ironic life can be. So when you think that your about to give up, or give in, think about what really really makes you smile from inside out, and push yourself that much harder.
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

YOU DESERVE IT!

I am quickly learning how badly I see myself. For years I surrounded myself in pain and after a while I got use to it. I got so use to it that it became way more comfortable then anything. I felt like if I let people do things for me then they had one up on me, they would use it against me, and it made me feel dependent. Do you see how crazy that is! It sounded so logical in my head, and how easy it was to turn everything around. I did this for years, I would over-think, over-analyze everything. I made everything out to be so negative, so personal, and so hurtful. The saying " If you set off negative energy you will attract negative energy" WELL BELIEVE IT BECAUSE IT'S TRUE! I would hear someone say that and try and be positive for the day, but it was just fake positive energy so it completely counter-acted everything. I couldn't understand it, I was so upset, and frustrated I just didn't know how to deal. So I shut off feelings, emotions, and the will to care, or at least I thought I did. I cared about everyone else around me instead of myself. I would take care of others before myself all the time. It was and still is very hard for me to put myself first and not feel badly about being selfish. Sometimes you need to be selfish, you need to look after numero uno, because at the end of the day no one else will. Sure there are tons of people who you probably don't even realize who care, but they do, but its hard to care when you know that person doesn't even care about them self. Once you start to look at yourself and care about yourself, then those around you will respect that and care about you as well. "When you give off positive energy, you attract positive energy" this saying is what some people need to learn, study, and everyone should apply it to there everyday life. When you put yourself first, you are acknowledging the fact that you deserve to be happy, that you are important and you do stand out from others. I never understood why people tried so hard to fit in when we were born to stand out. Even those who think they are rebelling are building are category all their own. I have gone through a lot in my life, all starting at a young age, and I have always been so upset, as to why I never get treated properly. Even though without knowing it I would push all the good people away. I have finally realized that God gives you the people you need not the people you want, to love you, to leave you, to hurt you, to support you, etc. Guys do it just the same, they complain about all the things their girlfriend isn't but when they get a good girl, there's always something that isn't enough. Girls do it just as bad, we are attracted to the "bad boy" but then expect him to be prince charming. So you should really think about what you want, do you want the "bad boy" who will treat you BADLY, or prince charming whose going to treat you like the princess. Guys do you want the "baaaaad girl" whose going to take full advantage of her looks and use them against you, or do you want a good girl who will appreciate everything you are including all your flaws? This was a realization for myself that I didn't want to come to terms with myself, and when push came to shove, I have done the "bad boy" thing way to many times to know that they all end the same, so why not try a good guy, prince charming who I know will treat me the way I want, the way I deserve. I don't want anyone to feel like they need to buy my love, but I deserve to be treated with care and respect. It's so new and fresh, and scary and awesome. I deserve it! why would you ever think you don't? If you don't feel like you deserve it neither will anyone else! Everyone deserves to be happy!!!

"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

It will all happen when you least expect it!

For years I thought that I was broken and damaged and a complete mess. Well by me believing that, thats exactly what type of vibes I gave off. I shut people out, judged them before I really got to meet them. Now I wonder how many awesome people I pushed away... I always wanted someone who was going to take care of me they way I have others all my life and care because they want to and not because I was an obligation. What i learned is that I was damaged because I allowed people to break me down and walk all over me. Through Avatar I got to create a whole new upgraded happier version of my former self. It wasn't easy to take responsibility and not be the victim but once I started pointing out the things I didn't like in myself I learned they wouldn't be hard to change! I live a much happier and healthier life, and the truth is when you love yourself it becomes contagious, and everyone will shift around you. It will all happen in time, and you need to give yourself time to heel and re-create. But the main and most important part of all of this is to realize that it is possible, in-fact anything is possible when you decide it is. When you allow yourself to break down in a healthy way you learn more about yourself and what you think you want isn't at all what you really want. My whole life is in different colors, and finally seeing things for what they really are, enriches everything. I have more motivation to better myself and push myself forward. I also met someone who makes it really easy to be me, and smiling has become natural. It just comes to show when you treat your life better, life will treat you. I have had a really not so great past, where I allowed others to completely change me, or make me feel really bad about myself. It was abusive in every which way, emotionally, mentally, physically. But I have finally been able to let it go, and realize that it doesn't define me at all but I am who am I today because of all the crap I went through. You learned to always look at the glass half full! and when you least expect it, someone else will help fill it up! Everyone deserves to be happy, so stop over-thinking everything, stop holding yourself back from being happy, let the past go and learn from it. Because when you least expect it, it will happen, and when it does happen you will appreciate it that much more!
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

When you don't know where to look for motivation... look in a mirror

Everyone has days where they wake up and don't want to do anything, and I'm not talking about vacation. Everyone has low days, and believe it or not its not all that bad. Sometimes life can get you down and you need time off to recollect yourself. The mistake people often make is that, they make it a lifestyle. Your body needs to get up and do something active, get your heart pumping. Even if it's just for a small amount of time, you will feel ten times better once you get up and start moving. Other days, I get so overwhelmed with a mixture of everything that I just want to scream "TIME OUT!"  so every once and awhile its good to do just that. Today I woke up feeling so drained, with not motivation, or energy to do anything at all. So despite my better judgement I got up to get some breakfast, and did a "feel it" exercise and let all the negative crap go. I started to feel a tad bit different so I decided to nourish my body with some good healthy breakfast which rejuvenated my energy. Then last but most certainly not least, I took a look in the mirror and realized I had come this far because I hadn't given up. I have to work so hard because I made living and staying in bed my lifestyle, and I am not ready to go back to that state. I was able to find my own motivation in myself, I became my biggest fan! It completely turned my day around. Point being, everyone has bad day and everyone has low points, but you can decide to change it at any point in the day. Choose not to worry about things you have no control over, or to build yourself up, when your feeling down. If your lacking in energy take a power nap, or feed your body with something nutritious. No matter what you having going on in your life that may be dragging you down you can decide to change it turn it around and let it fuel you forward. Continue to live and be prosperous. Happiness is the best place on earth and the view is breath taking.
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world." Harry Palmer

My defining Days, that I won't let go

It is very hard for us to point out our own struggles, when you are so busy trying to be the perfect version of you.  Most the time when we are pointing out the wrongs in someone else, we are pointing out what stands out most in ourselves. I feel compelled to help everyone and anyone I can, and for a long time I was doing it because I was secretly crying out for help myself. It didn't just all come at once, it came in little dosages. But I didn't care at that point! I started to let go of responsibilities that I worked so hard to keep. Everything that was once important, everything that I had fought so hard for, didn't matter anymore. No matter how hard I worked at myself, it just was not enough, so I tried to be someone else's idea of perfect and when that didn't work I was lost. I wasn't okay, I felt that I had lost myself at such a young age that I would never over come it. I was in such a dark place I couldn't even see myself. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing to myself and those around me. And the more and more I would try and cover up my need for help, the more it got stronger. Before I knew it I had covered myself in depressing and draining emotions. I couldn't see any light, I couldn't understand how it got that bad, and I never thought I was going to be able to over come any of it let alone all of it. I woke up one day, and literally said enough is enough! There was nothing that I hadn't felt at that point. I could tell people felt an unease around me. I could tell I was the dark cloud no one wanted to be around, the dark cloud I ran away from as a little ambitious girl. I was frustrated I didn't know how to get out, or even which step to take first. This feeling lasted for months before I felt a tap on my shoulder. I finally got the answer that I had been searching for all those years. Avatar really in a very in-abrasive fashion stripped me of years of self medicating abuse. I was able to finally look in the mirror and recognize the person looking back at me. I could comfortable name what I didn't like about myself, and decide to discreate them. I found a healthy way to point out my own struggles and turn them into a new battle, a new accomplishment. Instead of putting myself down and letting it break me, I simply decided that it was going to make me shine. I could re-create anything everything I possibly wanted. I found self happiness in my own smile. I will never let go of this new empowering embrace of emotion, I refuse to sell myself short, and I refuse to settle for anything less then amazing because I AM WORTH IT AND I DO DESERVE IT!
"Every Moment you are HAPPY is a GIFT to the rest of the WORLD" Harry Palmer

Break Downs are Healthy

I use to be the type of person that I would hold everyone in, and just cover it all up with a fake smile, and I thought I was fooling everyone. But when someone isn't genuinely happy everyone can tell, more then you can even tell. And the one person that covering up harms more then anyone is yourself! I still tend to keep things in a little and then have little mini break downs, which normally people think is bad, but I strongly disagree! Sometimes, you need to completely break down, and exaggerate how you feel, because when its in your head you can justify it, and make excuses, and over analyze. When you break down, and exaggerate the feeling you can really see how much of its not a big deal and how silly it all is. The beauty of a break down is that you get to build yourself right back up, you get to create whatever you want without the bullsh*t in your head. You get to focus on you, and just you. You can tweak, tune up, or even upgrade anything you really want, and regardless of  what your belief system says now.. You have the inner power to let go of whatever you want. I have mini break downs almost once every couple of weeks, whether it's because I second guess myself, or I get a sneak attack and smacked upside with head with something that I wouldn't even think would have an effect on me. There are tons of reasons why people break down. Because of Avatar I am more self- aware of why I do the things I do. say or feel. I have awesome friends and family who let me break down and exaggerate the feeling until I realize how absurd and ridiculous I was being in the first place. Stress, and depression only damages the body. But if you have nothing to fight for you will stand for anything and everything. Those who don't know what real happiness is has no idea what's worth fighting for. Breakdowns aren't always so healthy though,  they can emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive, and draining. I did it for years, and I woke up and said enough is enough I don't want to live like this anymore, I want to smile from inside out. Everyone deserves to be happy, and its possible in more then one way.
'Every Moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

If anything really would be a possibility, knowing you wouldn't fail what would you do? What really stops up for pushing forward? What ultimately holds us back from what we want out of life? Parents always say.. " You can do anything you set your mind to!" But then as we grow up, they start to put limitations on what feels like everything and anything. Sometimes okay okay, most of the time, parents know best and they limit us from either making wginormous mistakes, or from getting hurt. But against their better judgement we normally do it anyway. In doing so, we choose to find out what happens, we take the risk anyway. However, when you get older a majority of the people are to afraid to take risk, and really go for what they want. It is set up in our mind that without money, or a plan of attack, and back up we really won't get very far. But instead of leaping, we need to learn how to make steps, this way we are still moving forward, and still being safe. You can easily still do whatever you want to do, you can make anything happen. And should not limit yourself because you don't know where to start. Unfortunately in todays world money talks, and if you don't have the correct amount we're told to take a walk. But I would much rather be told that anything is possible and with the right steps forward I will be able to make it anywhere. I would like to think that my dreams are plans for the future no matter how small or big they might be. Do not shut yourself down from being great, or making a difference. You don't want to wake up one day and think " I wonder if I... what would of been". What does it even really mean to fail? In school it means you don't move forward and/or graduate up, but in life there is no limit to how many attempts we really have. We set up our own limitations, of course those who bet all they have the first time and loose, may have a harder second attempt but they still have that second attempt. Seeing is not believing if you can believe it you better bet you can see it in what ever light and colors your imagination will let you. I started this blog because I have this dream plan of starting a movement, sure I could do other things with my life and probably make oodles of money, but I would compromise my happiness, SOMETHING I REFUSE TO DO! once you find your happiness, I can promise you will never want to let it go, it will become your love that you fight for, that you would kill for. Know that not failing is an option, make it your only option. Broaden your horizon, open up your eyes, and always follow your heart.
"Every moment you are happy is gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

Two heads are better then one!

For such a long time, I have been very, independent. I needed to do it on my own, almost so I could prove myself to others. Most of the time I still like to do things myself, I am a laid back but for the most part private person. However, my best friend is a huge part of my support system! We are together probably 90% of the time, if we aren't either I'm out of town or she is. So whatever I go through she goes through and vice versa. We have been through a lot of the same things, even though we come from very different up bringing, we share the same values, same interests, share the same thoughts and most of the time have the same feelings, we've never fought and most of the time finish each others sentence..what can I say we're best friends! When I was going through the rough times in my life Jess was always there, the first one there and she never left. She opened up her heart and her family to let me in. Family growing up has been such a huge part of my life so when mine fell apart I felt as though I lost a big part of me, and even though I am making progress and great strides with mine, and I super close to Jess and her family. And I could never be able to thank them enough for all the times they take me in (yes present tense because they still do) For all the times, they have treated me like one of their own, I am truly blessed and so thankful words would never be able to express. Unfortunately we also went through some pretty dark times together, so if I was unapproachable, or came off as a tough girl, you could only imagine what it was like with us together. Attitude is strong enough, I even had back up on that. We are best described as Fabolous' song "Make Me Better" the lyrics say " I'm a movement  by myself, but a Force when we're together". It was our defense mechanism, no body and I mean no body wanted to mess with us. Which we didn't mind so much, but being unapproachable can get lonely and both of felt it. When I started planning Avatar I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into and Jess kinda looked at me like your not serious right? But against both our better judgements I went, and came back a completely different person. In Avatar, I was worried how my friends and family would take to the new me, and didn't want it to affect my new belief system. Well they tell you that once you shift, everything and everyone in your life will shift around you, and at first I was like "Oh! you don't know my friends and family!" But boy was I wrong yet again! Once I came home it was almost like a wildfire affect, they saw the change in me automatically and it's started to take hold on those closest to me. Jess in fact just told me that, seeing me this happy has pushed her to let go of a lot of bullshit she has held onto for years, and if I can finally let go of my past so can she. Once I came home I made the decision to clean up my life in more then one aspect, and I wanted to start by working out and eating right, respecting my mind, body and soul. Jess is my partner in crime, we use to be out to the wee hours of the night sometimes morning, and would eat everything your not suppose to. ( COMFORT FOOD ) my addiction is fried foods, and hers is sugar, together its one deadly combination. I was scared to tell her no, I didn't want her to feel as though I was judging her, but yet again I was wrong. I came home to find out that Jess had started Jenny Craig, and working out with her older brother Jason doing Cross-Fit work out. So I did a little happy dance, and joined right in, I'm not doing Jenny Craig, but I have studied better diets, and we cross-fit 2-3 a week, and i've been sneaking in some cardio-workouts in between days. I feel great, and we have pushed each other so much in the past few weeks. People have noticed the change in both of us and its a beautiful thing. We are happy, in the process of getting healthy, and pushing ourselves beyond our own personal impossibilities. I am so thankful I have the support I do from my family, and I have such a kick-ass best friend. Now don't get me wrong you can make the decision and do anything you set your mind to, but it is much more easier when you have a partner in crime. So if you choose, to change your lifestyle, make sure you also decide to surround yourself with supportive friends or family. It's very important ingredient, for the "new you recipe". It's not easy to cut those off that you never realized weren't such a fantastic support before, but when you make the decision to love yourself, and put yourself first, you must become selfish. Selfish for all the right reasons is the best thing you could ever do. Remember you need to be happy before you let anyone share in your happiness, you need to love yourself before you let anyone else love you. Happy is the best place on earth and I never want to leave!
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

With Self-motivation you will find Self-re-creation :)

Have you ever been in a really down mood, and just wanted ice cream? or had a really crappy day and just wanted to go home and order out? If you have... you are not alone, in fact no where near it! For years, I used food as my crutch, Hi! my name is Mellissa and I am an Emotional Eater, food of choice would be any comfort food (FRIED YUMMY GOODNESS, OR AWESOME ICE CREAM) . I never realized it through the years, what I was actually doing to my body and how much it had effected me. As a young girl growing up I always saw myself bigger then all the other girls, and was always told that if I lost weight I would be so much happier and it would push me further in life. Even though they were beliefs set up through family, I fully believed it none the less. I was never motivated to actually change it, in fact I would rebel more and more each year as I got older. I was never happy with the way I looked, and it took a toll on how I treated myself and others without even noticing it. I would cover up whatever I was feeling with food, knowing that I already wasn't happy with myself. It was my belief that I was never going to get skinnier, and I was right because I wasn't being active I wasn't doing anything about it. But over years and years, and gaining a substantial amount of weight, my attitude above others had gotten to an ultimate low point where I just didn't want to do anything, go anywhere, was afraid of meeting new people ect. I became so incredibly defensive, and would just snap at anything I didn't agree with, and take almost everything so personal, let it break me down and wear me out. I would settle for guys who treated me just as bad as I treated myself.   I would push those away who wanted to help me, but I wasn't ready to hear it so I would be overly disrespectful. At one point, I blamed it so much on Society and then I justified my weight because I didn't want to look like everyone else, or I wanted to rebel against those who made it seem so superficial then past skin deep. It was a toxic cycle and I was not able to step out of it. Now through the gifts and tools I've been given through Avatar, I have found a higher self motivation. At first it was all about I wanted to look better, but due to a change in diet and a new work out regiment I found an even higher power of happiness. I find that eating healthy and being active has shifted my perception even more! It has become the want and need to be healthy and to treat my body better then I ever have. Instead of emotional eating, I put my emotions into something productive now. It could be working out, or writing it through a blog, whatever I choose, I make sure its healthy. And even though I have made progress I'm no where near my goal weight, but the point is that I'm getting there. My whole attitude has change, I feel so much better after I work out or eat my veggies apposed to just sitting in my room eating fried foods or candy and watching a movie. Being an emotional eater took more out of me then I could of ever imagined. I never wanted to be that neurotic girl counting calories, but that was just a different way of looking at it. Now, I am more aware of what fuels my body instead of pollutes it. I am so much happier, and feel so empowered to keep with it because of the results. Feeling happy emotionally, mentally and physically was something I thought would be close to impossible, but I have yet again proven myself wrong which means I am capable of doing just about anything I set my mind to. People have noticed the shift change in myself, and I have noticed the shift in those around me. The cause and effect action has been awesome. Although, it is a constant battle not to cheat on my diet, or to just be lazy and not work out, pushing myself and saying no, has never felt this great. Point being that it is so important to make sure we keep ourselves healthy. When you take care of yourself, you feel better about yourself, and it will show and others will treat you accordingly. IT IS NOT ABOUT LOOKS!!!!!  ITS ABOUT FEELING CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE!!!!! If you want others to respect you, respect yourself. If you want others to treat you well, be self and treat yourself first. In order for anyone else to love you, you need to love yourself first. But above all you have to want to do it. You cannot absolutely under no circumstances do it for anyone besides yourself, you will never stick to it, and above all you will never be able to reap the full benefits. Being able to push through when it feels like I have no energy or umpgh to give, and really challenge myself, is such an empowering emotion, and its so addicting to love yourself after that.
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world." Harry Palmer

Why are people so afraid to ask for help?

Have you ever noticed how much more trouble people can get themselves in when they don't ask for help? Sometimes you don't need anyone's help and you are perfectly capable doing it by yourself, which in that case thats awesome, good for you!! In other cases, sometimes when we really do need help, we are to stubborn to admit or to blinded by pride to see that help is right in front of us all we really have to do is ask. I have been such an independent person my whole life, and I always needed to prove to others and myself that I could do it by myself without anyone helping me. All I really did in the long-run was prove how stubborn and prideful I was, and how it got the best of me. I dug myself a bigger hole by not asking for help, by shutting the open doors myself then peeking my head through and asking for directions. At one point, I gave up in myself because of all the bad decisions I made, but still was not going to let anyone help me at all. So I stayed angry, angry at myself for not being able to do it, and for becoming the person everyone thought I was. So instead of letting anyone help, I just stayed in a dark gloomy abyss. It was lonely, I knew a big part of my wanted to see the sun again, I wanted to feel the warmth of smiling and being happy. But because of my selfish decisions, I also pushed away the ones that loved and care about me most. I never ever realized that while hurting myself. I was hurting those around me. I may not have cared at all, but a group of others did, and it wasn't that I let them down, or disappointed them, it was that I let myself down. I didn't hold my own worth, although deep down I knew how valuable I am, and knew the potential I have I never thought to do something with it because I had a belief that all the decisions I make are bad, and I was going to be stuck FOREVER. But thanks to one of my amazing aunts, and a larger family of Avatar, I found "little Mellissa" again, I found the happy me. I can now feel the warmth of a smile, and I decided I will never ever let it go again. So no matter what problems or sticky situations I might face in the mean time, I will feel my emotions instead of over-think them, and I will label everything just as it is, and decide to move forward. Life is not about finding yourself, how ever many times you may loose yourself, its about creating yourself! You can fall, slip up, make bad decisions but as long as you learn the bigger lesson at the end of the day your just creating yourself. No one is perfect, and we don't have all the answers, if you want to know something that someone else already does ASK!!!! If you not sure how to do something.. ASK!!!! If you think you could it, but still would probably come out a little better with some help.. ASK!!! This ongoing joke that men don't know how to ask for directions its applies to everyone!!!! IF YOU GET LOST IN LIFE..STOP.. AND ASK FOR DIRECTIONS. Sometimes others may not always know, sometimes you will find your own way out, but sometimes you could avoid the crazy village by taking another route. I promise no one will judge you for it, in-fact what I've learned is people actually commend you for noticing that you need help. And instead of trying to do it on your own, and risking getting pretty badly bruised up, you asked for help, so you can do it the right way. Asking for help is not what everyone makes it out to be. Let your guards down because right now all its doing is holding you back from a life you could really enjoy, minus the headaches.
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

You have the choice to make or break any situation

Have you ever been to the eye doctor?? those of you who have perfect vision congratulations, I will try and paint a visual picture for you. When you go to the optometrist ( eye doctor ) and you tell him you are having trouble seeing he sets you up in a chair with a machine where you look through a variation of lenses to enrich your sight. "Is it better in lens one, or two.. one, or two" and will go for about ten minutes back and forth going through different lenses, making up a combination to correct your vision. Then end result is different for everyone, meaning everyone sees things in different shapes, sizes, colors overall vision in general. Two people can look at the same object and see them in completely different lights. We choose to look at the cup half full or half empty, we choose to taste things bitter or sweet manner. All these analogies are the same for everyday life. The way we carry ourselves has a lot to do with how we perceive views and beliefs. The beauty of our mind is that you have the ultimate power to change that and see things in a "half full", and "sweeter" way of life. In life things may not always be what them seem nine times out of ten they are not what we really see them as. Generally in today's society we are afraid of things/ people that are different, strange, because its not normal to us. But who and where says what is and what isn't normal. We have the power to create our own lenses and how we perceive  things in life. And since I have change my personal prescription all together, I can't imagine life in any other light. It is so peaceful and breathtaking, to be able to be fully aware and embrace everything and everyone around me. Since then I have learned something new everyday, maybe its something about myself, maybe its something about others or how the world works. Why stress and get angry when that gets you absolutely no where. When we get stuck in that dark abyss that "No one understands!" or " It's just not fair!" "why me!" It takes more energy feeling down and trying to cover up the rawness then to just let it be, and if there is a situation that arises from a dark or mysterious place, pick up a new pair of lenses and try and indulge yourself in the bigger picture. You will be shocked to find the solution isn't all that serious to be in "crisis mode". A huge weight will vanish from your shoulders, and peaceful happy place will take over like a real life plague. Don't let anyone, any situation break you when you can look at it as an opportunity to make you. So try on a new pair of lenses and if you aren't seeing clear enough change the prescription, you can repeat this process until those unnecessary headaches go away. Your ultimate goal should be to create your own happiness and if you can not see clearly through a difficult situation, change prescriptions. Create your own happiness, let it shine through, and it will become addicting to others around.
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

Pursue what makes you happy, not just what will make you money

There are a lot of people who go to school for something they believe will make them money instead of what they are truly passionate about. They think that because of the money they will learn to love it, which in some cases may work just fine, but not most. People believe that money makes them happy, instead of realizing that they themselves should be making them happy. When you do something you love, that you are so super passionate about you, something that you enjoy doing everyday, it won't even feel like work. When you pursue your passion, for all the right reasons of course, everything else will fall in place. As a young adult, I asked all the time "What do you want to do for a living?" then the follow question is, "What's the income in that career?", "Could you see yourself doing that for the rest of your life?" Call me crazy but there is no concrete rule that I have to do one thing for the rest of my life. Yes, you do want stability in your life and have a career would be apart of your foundation, however its your life and you can choose how you work it which ever which way that is. You can not be worried about money, or anything higher then what makes you happy. When you do something you love, you will make money. You will create everything you need as long as you are passionate about it no matter what field it is, you could take it world wide. Some of you are laughing right now, which is fine, but have more faith in yourself. Think about it, why settle for something that you could just be good at? because it makes oodles of money?? Is your happiness controlled by money??? Would you rather look back in ten years knowing you tried and gave it everything you had, or that you settled for something for the wrong reasons? Instead of giving it all you had and living everyday doing something your passionate about for something that makes great money but you hate doing?? Instead of looking at it like what would be a better end result, look at like as though you will make the end result, you will take it as far as you want to, and make it as big as you want to. Happiness is the best place on earth, once you find where yours is , I can promise you, you will never want to leave and you will do whatever it takes to stay. That mindset will take your passion to a whole new level. You don't want to be the unhappy lady at the DMV, who always seems to have a bad day because she dreads coming to work! Pursue what makes you happy, what your passion is, something that allows you to share your happiness with others, and everything else will work itself out. All you can do is try, give it your all, your best effort, if for whatever reason it does not workout, the most you have lost is ... hmm I can't think of anything. Do what you love.. why wouldn't you want to?? Do what makes you happy!
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer