Everyone carries around energy that they give off, others can feel it and sense the mood your in. Sometimes it draws people in, sometimes it gives off "WARNING!! BACK OFF!!" and sometimes, even though you may not feel like anythings wrong, when there is something bothering you deep down inside you let it show just the tiniest bit, your energy changes, and people still get the message. For years, people might of thought I was intimidating, and I could never understand why? why was I so hard to approach? all my friends know deep down that I have a bigger heart then I do body, so what was really giving off the wrong impression? was it looks? I mean did I look like a monster and just couldn't see it? all these secondaries (after thoughts that follow your initial belief or thought.. your thought processing) would roll in, and I would over-think and over analyze the situation into something it was far from. I knew that deep down I was angry and holding so much in, but I thought I was doing a fantastic job at not letting anyone know that. But boy was I wrong! My younger brother, is very humble and full of wisdom, sat me down one time and told me its how I look at people, its how I always look angry, and its how I carry myself, giving off negative vibes was an awesome way to attract negative vibes. I was able to break down my issues through Avatar, really understand where all the pain and anger came from, past relationships, school, family, it was a mixture of all these events and people, except for one.. me. Yes, I was young but I forgot to take responsibility for my emotions, reactions, and actions all together. I forgot that you choose how to feel about something, and your actions, I'm still working on my reactions, but getting better. When you are able to let all the crap and toxic energy out and just say one final good bye, the weight of the world seems light as a feather. When you become a happier you, when you create a happier you, you become less defensive, less hostile, less aggressive, and more humble. All those toxic energy points, I once admired because I knew it was a defense mechanism, and anyone who could get past it was going to mean something amazing. The only problem was I wasn't letting anyone in, I didn't trust anyone, I made sure in fact that no one, NO ONE would be able to get through. Yet, I was so unhappy being alone, and feeling unloved, never realizing I was doing it to myself. This doesn't happen overnight this was years built up where I wasn't sure what to create, what to decide, or what to choose, so I stopped everything all together. If I didn't make a choice, decision or put it in action, I couldn't get left, I couldn't get hurt, but with great risk comes great rewards. People are going to hurt you no matter what and it your choice, whose worth the pain? But keep in mind it is YOUR choice, no one has to be worth the pain, stop putting everything and everyone else before you, LOVE YOU! If you don't how do you expect anyone else to.
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer
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