Self Acceptance is Key

What is self acceptance? What does that really mean? To accept one as ones self? It took me awhile to understand just exactly what this meant and how much I had come to not really like the person I was. When someone told me to accept myself just as I am, I told them to get lost. I had become this person that I despised, how could I ever accept myself? I wanted so badly for things to be different, for me to be different why would I ever accept myself just as I am? This baffled me for a few days, and the longer and longer I sat there I became more disgusted with myself. I started to realize just how much I had come to dislike myself. And started to get angry, "I was fine before they asked me to accept myself!". Truth is I knew all along that I was growing into someone I didn't like, but I justified it by telling myself that I had to be this way, that because I was getting hurt I needed to put up walls and I needed to be defensive. I was wrong again, first I needed to realize that people hurt me because I allowed them to, keep in mind people only do what you allow them to do. This was another one that took me awhile to wrap my head around because I don't control what others do or say, but if I'm not getting treated right then I don't need to surround myself by that person, and a lot of times I was afraid to be alone, and I was use to getting hurt. See the sick cycle? After, I realized that I was drowning in my own sorrows, and only I could be the one to pull myself out, I had to make a decision. I decided to fight for what I loved deep down inside.. myself. I knew that I was worth more then all the "poor me's" and the "what did I do wrong?" Self acceptance, meaning I had to accept the person I had become, and choose to do something about it. I never wanted to accept the person in the mirror, I knew that it wasn't really mean it was just a bad distorted image of my former self. Distorted image or not, I looked myself in the mirror and said "Mellissa I accept you for you, I accept that you are hurt, but don't need to be anymore, I accept that you aren't happy, but can be, and I accept that you did all this to hide yourself, but now know you don't need to I accept you for all your flaws, and now that I know what they are lets do something about it!" I started by doing something I had never ever done before, LIFE STYLE CHANGE! Some people would call it a diet, but for me it  became so much more, I needed to become more aware of what I was doing to my body, how I treat it -- prime example of how I treat myself. So if I wanted to be healthy and happy I had to eat healthy and happy. When people started to notice my hard work (HARD) bits and pieces of my hard exterior started to break off on its own. It then become easier and easier, and fun at times, because I was looking at it as a positive. I wasn't starving myself, I was giving my body all the right amount of all the right foods it NEEDED not wanted. My personality started to break other walls down, no need to be so hostile and defensive all the time. The day I accepted myself, was the day I decided to love myself. And put one foot in front of the other and do something about it. It all starts with Self Acceptance. Everything after that is your choice, whether or not you want to make any changes is up to you. But take a good look in the mirror and see if your ready to accept yourself just as you are. I still point out things I need to change, but I know I am the only one that can do something about it. It is not easy, but then again who said it was? Just keep in mind "The world is a reflection of me" when you look in the mirror and see how that makes you feel. You get what you put out, without any effort thats how the universe works. If anyone has any questions or comments please always feel free to leave them here or you can find me on facebook, just know you never have to do this alone.

"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer