My Father turned 50 today! 50!!!!!! I've only been around for the second half of his life, and it hasn't always been smooth sailing. We have been through so much that I'm not really sure where to begin or if I even should. So I'm not going to ;) We have shared some of the worst of times and the some of the best of times, but no matter how bad it has gotten and how long we have been apart I love my Dad very much. Through the years we have grown apart, and with the helpful tools of Avatar we have started to re-create that awesome relationship we once had. But this morning I ran into a bit of a predicament. Trying to find the perfect birthday card, has never been easy, and how do you find a card that says, " I'm sry for the past 23 years, thank you for all the good and bad times, I love you and hope you have a fantastic year!" I spent three days looking, there is no such card, I didn't know what to get, I didn't know how to express what I really felt without it seeming unappreciative. The more and more I thought about my childhood, my teen years, and my early twenties, all the hard times all the years missed, I started to get really upset and felt a number of different of emotions. I had to step back and realize that no matter what, even my father is a reflection of me, our relationship is a reflection of me. And realized I had lost my initial primary feeling, I let my mind take over and run wild..... not okay. I took away the fact that this was his day, and that we have put so much behind us and over come so much. I was taking away, and taking jumps backwards, missing the most awesome part of this great day! My dad is 50! 50 years old, thats a lot of mistakes, and accomplishments, a lot of laughs and tears. I need to appreciate my father and all the years he has, all his great and hard work he has been through. I know that there are a lot of times, days, years and memories that I missed, some that make him feel another way and I need to realize I can only take responsibility for my feelings and my perspective on our relationship. All I can do is make a commitment to make new memories, and take advantage of the time I do have with him, how much we have been through, how much we have over come. And once I let all the crap suffocate, I came to realize how much more I love my father, and how truly grateful I am to have him apart of my life. I know our relationship isn't the best right now, but it can be, and it will be. In order to look ahead into my future I needed to let my past go. My father has survived 50 years on this earth, and that in itself is something to celebrate.So what I learned this morning, Don't let your past experiences ruin your future memories! It hit me like a ton of bricks and once I realized how silly I was being, and this creation that I myself created for no reason, I laughed to myself shook my head and labeled as it is. Then the heavens opened up and the most perfect card was sitting in the wrong place, just in clear plain sight as if the perfect card elves have placed it there for me. It's amazing what kind of doors will open up once we close all the doors with overwhelming, distracting noise. So today I am proud to celebrate a man, who has been spent 50 years, growing and learning, loving and living, my dad. I love you dad and I hope this is your best year yet!
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer
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