Personal Responsibility

Personal responsibility has never been my strongest asset, yet I am creating it to be. What does taking personal responsibility mean? I don't mean taking the blame for who spilt the milk, or who broke the TV. I mean your personal feelings, I mean your actions, your words, everything that you decide to do, you should be doing for you and no one else. If you have this desire to spoil someone, it is not okay to rub it in their face or hold it against them, you chose to do it for them, and should do it because you want to, not to get something out of it in return whether it be a reaction or a return feeling. Ever since I can remember, through every relationship, I have always felt that I needed to give all of me all the time. I needed to do whatever I could to help, to give what I don't have, and to put everyone else first. For those of you who do the same, yet haven't seen the pattern yet, let my point it out. I use to think that I was just living the "treat others how you would like to be treated" way, but that wasn't true either, because when I found someone who did, it made me feel bad. So, what do I do? Where do I go from here? AAhh hhAAA!! I have the answer, you can go wherever YOU want to go. When we take personal responsibility for all our feelings, actions, and words, we start to realize that everything we put out we receive. So anytime we go in thinking we aren't going to get what we want, or its going to be negative anyway.. IT WILL BE. The world is a reflection of me, when I take responsibility for not pushing myself to my full potential, I realize that I am the only holding myself back. When I take responsibility for how I feel, and no matter what my boyfriend says or does, I am still in control of my feelings. One of the most important, when I take personal responsibility for my personal happiness, no one can ever take that away from me no matter what. When you give up your power, when you look for others to make you happy, or show you love, when you depend on other for your feelings it never exceeds your expectations. NEVER you will NEVER be as HAPPY or in LOVE because you aren't happy or in love with yourself!!! Men and women who cheat, or play games with others or with their work or just in life in general, are fighting their own insecurities, and it's never who they really are and most the time it's not even who they really want to be. But the key for people like myself, is to know and understand it's not my job to fix them, we can only help them if they want help. And even still we need to keep in mind that what is going on in someone else's life is not to be taken personal. If and when we do create a feeling based on taken something personal, we need to be able to notice it, realize this is not I this is my creation. Once you realize this is not what really is, this is just a feeling based on a creation because you took something personal that has nothing to do with you, thats personal responsibility.
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

Speaking from the heart!

Have you ever noticed, when you try and set up all the right things to say it all comes out wrong, or discombobulated? But when you speak from your heart, whether your really sure about it or not it always comes out right? Granted sometimes speaking from the heart makes us nervous or scared, which takes us back to learning to love ourself and owning who we are. It took me a long time to learn how to be vulnerable, I'm still learning thats its okay. But thats the truth, its okay to be vulnerable, we live in a society that tells us "You have to be strong!" or " Only the strong survive!" but the message isn't so clear for all. Yes! When your strong you can survive, but what does strong really mean? If you look up the word Strong, there are 21 definitions for it. All having the general meaning of being able to up hold a powerful measurement. But whose to say your strong doesn't involve anyone else? My strong involves my family, my friends, my boyfriend, and of course myself. I know that I am a strong individual mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even physically. However, we tend to forget that if it wasn't for our weakest moments we wouldn't be as strong as we are! I allow myself to be strong individually and because I can trust, love, and be vulnerable with my family, friends, and boyfriend we can be twice the strength when together. Before I created my inner strength, I always thought I had to be strong, "tough guy strong", but I could never speak from my heart, or become vulnerable. In the few times I had attempted to, I felt rejected and stupid. But I set up that belief, I assumed way before hand that it wasn't going to go over well, and it pretty much never did. Until I shifted myself, a good friend told me "it's okay to be vulnerable, let it out, this is a non judgment room!". And to my surprise I started to cry, but  for the first time in my life I became vulnerable and spoke from the heart, I allowed my insecurities to drop dead, and it was the best feeling in the world. Ever since then, I learned that the best way to speak to someone if from the heart, I use to speak at people, now I speak to people, a concept I once thought was crazy! But I am quickly learning that the only craziness is how long it took me to figure all this out. Some of you keep in mind that when I say, " Speak from the heart" I am meaning to speak from your heart, not your webs of chaos going on in your head. Trust me I thought that's when I thought I was speaking from the heart, but thats when I was speaking at people. When you speak with your head full of crap, YOU ARE IN YOUR HEAD, and not in your heart. When your trying to justify what is coming out of your mouth, YOU ARE IN YOUR HEAD, and not in your heart. When your not sure if what your saying is going to get the reaction you want, YOU ARE IN YOUR HEAD, and not in your heart. When you speak from your heart, your not looking for a reaction and whatever reaction you do get, won't effect you negatively. It's almost like you said your peace, your saying it because you want someone else to know how you feel, instead of trying to defend how you feel. Be honest with yourself, it is not easy to do, I still find myself going no its okay, when I know I am in my head because there is no way that its okay. At that time, when you feel a head heart battle going on, step aside and just breathe, exaggerate all your thoughts you'll be surprised at what you come in contact with. Once you have a clear mind set, what you feel with just flow out your mouth. It's really quite awesome, and people respect and appreciate the vulnerable, the naked truth. You feel fresh, and the best part is you don't feel as though you have to put a guard up between everything you say. You feel strong, because its you, and because you are loving and owning you. If any of you have any questions, comments or concerns, please leave them, add them, or email me with them, I am always here to help.
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

Todays a Love Lesson.

These past few days, I've been learning the full meaning of self love. So today instead of blogging about it and reading about it, I just want you to do it. Go out and do something for you today, and I'm not talking about having a brownie or doing nothing. I want you to do something healthy for you! Go out and celebrate being you, look in the mirror and point out things you love, and exaggerate them! See I was having trouble with my self love, I was having trouble with doubt, and not really being able to allow myself to shine through. But I figured it out, and this is why I love blogging because it allows me to share it with all of you. Are you ready? Top Secret info!!! I was holding myself back, I was holding myself in the past, and wasn't loving me. I have put aside my insecurities and I'm now putting on my bathing suit and plan to spend the day at the beach with some good healthy food, but even better and inspirational friends. See the key is to surround yourself with people who love you, who care about you, but most important who inspire you to be the best you can possibly be. I am taking full responsibility for being my own bully, but now its time for me to do something about it! I love me, and for the little things I don't like, its all a decision to change what I want, that simple. I have nothing to fear if I have self love, I don't need to look back because I know it's just going to hold me back. This is all about creating who you want to be, think about it, say it out loud, now go make it happen!!!! Love yourself today, and now everyday after because you can, and because you will be amazed to see and feel everything and everyone shift once you do. If this doesn't work for you, loving yourself and appreciating yourself, please email me, facebook me, comment. I will sit down and work out a love work out plan with you!
"Every moment you are happy is gift to the rest of the world." Harry Palmer

Be the change you wish to see in the world

Have you ever noticed that doing the same old thing, you get the same old results? Do you want or need something to change and your just not sure how to make it happen? Plan to do something completely different and see how it pans out. It's easy for us to get comfortable in the same old routine, but it's also easy to be comfortable in being a victim. But if you want things to change then you need to stop swimming in your own self pity and do something about it. If you want a change you can't just decide to change, and wait for it to happen you need to decide and then create. Everything happens because we allow it to happen, if we just sit back and wait for it to happen then nothing will happen. Its all about being primary in what you want and doing what you have to do to make it happen. Its about putting one step in front of the other and keep it moving, don't let anything derail you from what you want, not even yourself. Its all about being source 100% of the time. Secondaries are fine they exist, but you don't have to let them change or discourage what you really want. I have been standing in my own way for awhile now, and wasn't sure what the problem was, because its hard to see the bigger picture when your wearing blinders. If want a change, take off the blinders, wash your face, and get a new start. Clear your mind, set a plan, and create whatever you want. So go for it! Shoot for the moon because even if you miss you land among stars. Don't let anything or anyone hold you back from doing anything and everything you want especially yourself. If you've read all this and feel motivated but aren't sure what to do next send me a message or leave a comment. I am always willing to reach out.

"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

Here's to another 50!

My Father turned 50 today! 50!!!!!! I've only been around for the second half of his life, and it hasn't always been smooth sailing. We have been through so much that I'm not really sure where to begin or if I even should. So I'm not going to ;) We have shared some of the worst of times and the some of the best of times, but no matter how bad it has gotten and how long we have been apart I love my Dad very much. Through the years we have grown apart, and with the helpful tools of Avatar we have started to re-create that awesome relationship we once had. But this morning I ran into a bit of a predicament.  Trying to find the perfect birthday card, has never been easy, and how do you find a card that says, " I'm sry for the past 23 years, thank you for all the good and bad times, I love you and hope you have a fantastic year!" I spent three days looking, there is no such card, I didn't know what to get, I didn't know how to express what I really felt without it seeming unappreciative. The more and more I thought about my childhood, my teen years, and my early twenties, all the hard times all the years missed, I started to get really upset and felt a number of different of emotions. I had to step back and realize that no matter what, even my father is a reflection of me, our relationship is a reflection of me. And realized I had lost my initial primary feeling, I let my mind take over and run wild..... not okay. I took away the fact that this was his day, and that we have put so much behind us and over come so much. I was taking away, and taking jumps backwards, missing the most awesome part of this great day! My dad is 50! 50 years old, thats a lot of mistakes, and accomplishments, a lot of laughs and tears. I need to appreciate my father and all the years he has, all his great and hard work he has been through. I know that there are a lot of times, days, years and memories that I missed, some that make him feel another way and I need to realize I can only take responsibility for my feelings and my perspective on our relationship. All I can do is make a commitment to make new memories, and take advantage of the time I do have with him, how much we have been through, how much we have over come. And once I let all the crap suffocate, I came to realize how much more I love my father, and how truly grateful I am to have him apart of my life. I know our relationship isn't the best right now, but it can be, and it will be. In order to look ahead into my future I needed to let my past go. My father has survived 50 years on this earth, and that in itself is something to celebrate.So what I learned this morning,  Don't let your past experiences ruin your future memories! It hit me like a ton of bricks and once I realized how silly I was being, and this creation that I myself created for no reason, I laughed to myself shook my head and labeled as it is. Then the heavens opened up and the most perfect card was sitting in the wrong place, just in clear plain sight as if the perfect card elves have placed it there for me. It's amazing what kind of doors will open up once we close all the doors with overwhelming, distracting noise. So today I am proud to celebrate a man, who has been spent 50 years, growing and learning, loving and living, my dad. I love you dad and I hope this is your best year yet!
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

Self Acceptance is Key

What is self acceptance? What does that really mean? To accept one as ones self? It took me awhile to understand just exactly what this meant and how much I had come to not really like the person I was. When someone told me to accept myself just as I am, I told them to get lost. I had become this person that I despised, how could I ever accept myself? I wanted so badly for things to be different, for me to be different why would I ever accept myself just as I am? This baffled me for a few days, and the longer and longer I sat there I became more disgusted with myself. I started to realize just how much I had come to dislike myself. And started to get angry, "I was fine before they asked me to accept myself!". Truth is I knew all along that I was growing into someone I didn't like, but I justified it by telling myself that I had to be this way, that because I was getting hurt I needed to put up walls and I needed to be defensive. I was wrong again, first I needed to realize that people hurt me because I allowed them to, keep in mind people only do what you allow them to do. This was another one that took me awhile to wrap my head around because I don't control what others do or say, but if I'm not getting treated right then I don't need to surround myself by that person, and a lot of times I was afraid to be alone, and I was use to getting hurt. See the sick cycle? After, I realized that I was drowning in my own sorrows, and only I could be the one to pull myself out, I had to make a decision. I decided to fight for what I loved deep down inside.. myself. I knew that I was worth more then all the "poor me's" and the "what did I do wrong?" Self acceptance, meaning I had to accept the person I had become, and choose to do something about it. I never wanted to accept the person in the mirror, I knew that it wasn't really mean it was just a bad distorted image of my former self. Distorted image or not, I looked myself in the mirror and said "Mellissa I accept you for you, I accept that you are hurt, but don't need to be anymore, I accept that you aren't happy, but can be, and I accept that you did all this to hide yourself, but now know you don't need to I accept you for all your flaws, and now that I know what they are lets do something about it!" I started by doing something I had never ever done before, LIFE STYLE CHANGE! Some people would call it a diet, but for me it  became so much more, I needed to become more aware of what I was doing to my body, how I treat it -- prime example of how I treat myself. So if I wanted to be healthy and happy I had to eat healthy and happy. When people started to notice my hard work (HARD) bits and pieces of my hard exterior started to break off on its own. It then become easier and easier, and fun at times, because I was looking at it as a positive. I wasn't starving myself, I was giving my body all the right amount of all the right foods it NEEDED not wanted. My personality started to break other walls down, no need to be so hostile and defensive all the time. The day I accepted myself, was the day I decided to love myself. And put one foot in front of the other and do something about it. It all starts with Self Acceptance. Everything after that is your choice, whether or not you want to make any changes is up to you. But take a good look in the mirror and see if your ready to accept yourself just as you are. I still point out things I need to change, but I know I am the only one that can do something about it. It is not easy, but then again who said it was? Just keep in mind "The world is a reflection of me" when you look in the mirror and see how that makes you feel. You get what you put out, without any effort thats how the universe works. If anyone has any questions or comments please always feel free to leave them here or you can find me on facebook, just know you never have to do this alone.

"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

I am the only person holding me back

Everyday I get up and say "Okay! I need to get this, this and that done, okay so I'll do this then that and then this..Perfect!" however nothing gets done. Has this ever happened to anyone else? You know you need to get stuff done, and don't do anything to change the issue? Whether its laziness, procrastination, or just not enough self ambition ... its crap. I know that I want more but I don't want to work for it, well who really does? We don't live in the best economy as is, but if you really want more you have to work for it. You just need to make a list of everything you want and turn it into a check list. If you want something bad enough and you work hard enough nothing will stand in your way. Set primaries, put it out into the universe what you want, where you want and how you want it. Your bed, couch, or "lounge" will always be there, its not going anywhere, and neither will you if you don't get off it! I can say this because I'm putting my words into action. I planned to move forward instead of stay in neutral. It;s scary, only if you make it scary! I needed to get through some personal struggles just like everyone has, but I decided to ask for help, and I got it :) It's not how many times you fall it's how many times you stand back up! "Be the change you wish to see in the world" -- Ghandi. Do whatever you need to do stop making excuses because you and I both know thats exactly what it is.. EXCUSES! You can do anything and everything you want you just need to apply yourself in what you want, put the blood sweat and tears into it, at the end of the day all you have to rely on is yourself. And your bed will always be there to crawl back into. But you owe it to yourself to make something of yourself and do something amazing with your life, simply because you can. You are the only person, and obstacle in your way everything else you can create!
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

Life happens when you least expect it to.

Today a woke up and life started pouring. Have you ever heard the saying "when it rains it pours!" Today it has been a tropical storm! Everything seems to happen all at once, its called life. Its not what happens in life it how we handle the situation. I decided that no matter how hard it pours, and long it lasts I will be just fine. I will do everything and anything I can to make it through this stormy weather because thats all it is.. stormy weather. When I least expected it, a certain someone parted the clouds and changed everything. It didn't change what had happened, it didn't fix any of the craziness, but it made me appreciate the good in my life rather then all the negative crap. A wise man once told me " you only have a bad day if you choose to have a bad day, and why would anyone choose to have a bad day?" Sometimes we get wrapped up in all the chaos when all it really takes is just one strong smile to say " Naaaa nothings that big of deal to ruin my day!" In times like these (bad mornings, rough or tough days) take time to look at the things you do have in your life, and appreciate them! Being appreciative towards the people, place, and things you have in your life is not always easy when your mind is else where, but I promise you when you take the time out to appreciate those around you it will shift your perspective. Most the time we allow our mind to control our feelings, when we're angry it happens without us knowing. When you go into "Analyze Mode" and you tend to OVER analyze everything. The world is a reflection of me. What we put out into the world is exactly what we get back. When we set up expectations of others our mind is already made up so regardless good or bad we allow it to happen because we already expect it. So if the world is a reflection of you, what does that say about you? if you know what you want don't settle for anything less. Appreciation will go a really long way and it will open your eyes on whole new level. You don't have to mope around, you don't have to have a bad day if you don't want to. Now some of you are saying why would anyone WANT to have a bad day, well because some people are more comfortable in pain, I use to be one of those people. I felt I lost my happy, I thought I needed someone else to find it for me, I wasn't happy with myself at all, so I would keep myself in pain because I knew how to handle it better. But let me tell you from experience you don't have to be like that at all .. EVER! Life is going to happen whether it rains or pours, or just has a quick sun shower your day/life is what you choose to be. And if your tired of living in the glum perspective reach out, and know I am always available. Happiness does not have to be a choice
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

Today I was Inspired

Once I had a heart of stone
For it had surley lost its home
It could not love or wanted too
But in my life, then came you. 

The stones began to fall away
As happiness began to fill my day
A feeling so sweet and special too
Could this be love, I pray is true.

My heart now sings a song of love
For I know that it was sent from above
My heart is warm, there is no cold
Hard no more, but with wings of gold.

It soars above the sky so high
Sometimes I think of why and cry
My heart now sings a loving song
For the part of me I thought was gone.

The gift that you have given me
Is so important, can't you see
No more sadness or being alone
For now my heart returns to home


Today I was inspired by a very talented extraordinary young man, who also is very near and dear to my heart.Yet is living proof  as well that you don't have to live with a heart of stone. He has taught me so much about being warm hearted and allowing yourself to feel what's really there. Is it cold as stone? or is it full of love? I use to think that I was unlovable and I lost my heart to another  home. But I learned nothing is ever really lost! Sometimes when we think we "loose" people or things but it's all apart of a bigger picture an important lesson. We forget that we own our feelings, and they are our responsibility, we tend to give that responsibility to others hoping that they will guard it with their life, but when they don't we point the finger at them. When it was our decision to give them the responsibility of our feelings away in the first place. Own how you feel whether its good or bad, strong or weak, your feelings are yours and yours alone.No one can care for you the way you can, no one can make you happy if you don't know how to make yourself happy, and no one will be able to love you if you don't love you. Like I said, own how you feel because there is never a right or wrong! If your always going to think that someone is going to hurt you, or it simply just won't work.. it never will. Let your labels go and focus on how you feel, and be just that especially when it makes you happy :)
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

The World is a Reflection of Me

The world is a Reflection of me, that a really bold statement. The first time I read it, I didn't understand it or chose not to, but when I started to break it down it started to make more sense. I started to think, "I'm not a mean person, I don't treat people badly, but I constantly get let down by those around me?" Then I started to realize all those people that did hurt, I on more then one occasion expected them too. I saw red flags and kept moving forward, I went against my better judgment and thought I could help. But then when things went exactly the way I thought they would, (not in the good way) I blamed myself. I put out that they were going to hurt me, I put out there that they didn't want the same thing, I put out there that I was good enough, I settled because I told myself if I only got this then I'd be happy when I knew better. I put out into the universe that I was fine with settling and not being the best or giving it my all, so why would I ever think that I would get the best result ?? When we put all our energy into not being something, we've quickly became it. I was able to really dig deep into certain walls that I didn't even know existed. I can't tell you how amazing it feels to shine rather then stand in my own shadow. You can to, sometimes it seems impossible, or you don't even know what it is, thats perfectly okay. I am living proof that you can make it happen, if you want to. I am more then willing and honored to help anyone else who would like to as well. Nothing is impossible you can create anything and everything you want! You decide when you want it, put it out into the universe that you really want it and you will surprised how awesome the universe works. What we label on others, we see somewhere in ourselves, when we put out bad vibrations we receive bad vibrations, you are the source of your own being, so be source! next time you point the finger walk to the mirror and then point the finger. Take responsibility for your feelings, and your thoughts.  People will only do what you allow them to do, keep in mind this is a reflection, if your allowing them to hurt you or walk all over you... you are doing it to yourself. Go to the mirror and look at the reflection, mind your edges, take a good look and then take a deep breath .. do you like what you see? do you love what you see? if not what do you think you should do to change it? if you don't know, but you'd like to know leave a comment or message me, you don't have to live like that. I am creating this awesome reflection, that I love so much, and i've never felt better and whole.
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world" Harry Palmer

Be Primary with your Life, No Limitations, No Secondaries, Just you!

I would first like to apologize for not being very current, I had just finished my Masters Course through Avatar, and needed time to prepare and time for the course itself! It was an amazing course, and I was able to really peel off some tough exterior that ran deep into my heart. I am so very proud to say that I am now a Master, yet still a student in learning more and more about myself. With all this being said lets jump right back into it. I would like to acknowledge all of you that take time to read my blog, and I appreciate you for being a loving individual. One of the biggest lesson's I learned while being at Masters is that I don't have to try so hard to give because I am a naturally genuine giver, and instead of questioning how other receive my generosity is not my concern. I give because it makes me feel good, but it didn't always use to be that way. I use to give because I felt guilty by not giving I felt guilty because I was once told that I had abandoned my family, so the want and need to be there for everyone was extremely high. I always felt like I could never do enough, never give enough, I was to much in my head. I myself was afraid to feel, I thought if I could figure it out and it would just go away, but the truth is no matter how you handle it if you don't handle your feelings nothing really gets fixed. A wise woman once told me in a relationship whether its friend, family or spouse, take 100% responsibility for how you feel and the relationship and 0 expectations for the other person. If and when the other person takes 1% responsibility you would feel good and happy, 5% you would feel amazing! 15% you would feel loved! Now imagine that person turns around and says I take 100% responsibility for my feelings and the relationship and no expectations of you, now you have 200% responsibility and still 0 expectations. Expectations, Limitations, Secondaries are all happening however they don't need to, they set you back in what you want and your ambition to make it happen. My Secondaries are always about money, love and just being enough. The truth of the matter is I am more then enough, I am learning how to love myself and if I want  it bad enough I will manifest the money because I create it all. Technically I can do anything I want to, I can create whatever I want, and I can decide to do something about it or nothing about it. Stay Primary in what you want, be specific and put it out into the world, the universe is very kinda and giving as well, and it will give you want you need. Just remember to stay primary, keep you as your main concern love you, take care of you. Do not set limitations for yourself this is called self sabotage!!! BAD!! BAD!!! VERY VERY BAD!!!! you can do anything you want, you can create anything you want and you can decide to actually do something about it!! DO NOT SETTLE, go beyond your own limitations and really push for what you want! why settle or even be unhappy when those don't even need to be an option.
lets reset this wacked out belief system and really put some good self work in!
"Every moment you are happy is a gift to the rest of the world!" Harry Palmer